As everything begins crashing down all over again I really don’t know how much more I can take at the moment. I have so much going on in my life at the moment I have to wonder if it is really worth all the effort to continue going on. I know I have come so far in the last 26 3/4 months, but that doesn’t change the feeling or the other issues that are going on.
I believe in the long run it will be worth it, but there are somethings that you can only take so much of. And it makes it worse when people that are supporting me keep fucking up (this isn’t to do with the program that I am currently in either).
Being cooped up in a small bedsit unit is doing my head in big-time right now. I don’t have a separate bedroom that I can go and rest in. I don’t have a separate lounge room that I can just watch TV in and use my computer in (as I don’t want my computer in the bedroom – my iPad and iPhone could go in there but nothing more). But now I also understand more why my counsellors and Doctor have told Housing NSW that a bedsit property is not suitable for my health. And as you would know with the issue with my leg I also can’t have a place with stairs, so they have to find me a min. 1 bedroom unit on the ground floor. This is the major hold up. Steve spoke with someone there recently and they are trying hard to find me a suitable property now. They want the place to work as much as we do. They are also looking at not putting me into a property area that has a lot of issues, like alcohol or drug issues. But I just want me home to be home.
Right now it is raining and has been for the last 24 hours and have another couple of days of rain, which is good, but we also have local flooding already occurring which is not a good thing. But at least for me right now I am on top of a hilled area so I should be fine. It would only be an issue if the power went out. Shame I can’t make it out, I do love going out in this weather and sitting undercover down at the waterfront, having a nice hot coffee and a sandwich and listening to music and just chilling out for a bit.
Anyway, that is enough from me for now, Home and Away is just about to start.