Today, at the age of 48, I never thought I would have to fill in and write out an Advance Care Directive (ACD). Not sure what that is? I have attached the meaning below.
An Advance Care Directive (ACD), also known as a living will or personal directive, is a legally binding document where an individual outlines their preferences for future medical treatment if they become unable to make decisions for themselves due to illness or incapacity.
Tomorrow for me is going to be one of the most challenging days in my inter life, and I have been through a hell of a lot over the last 48 years. This is even bigger than my below-knee amputation back on 6th June 2022. It is the day that I meet the surgeon who will be performing my open heart surgery. I will be meeting with him at around 3.30pm in the city. I am scared out of my brain to the point where I had to write out my ACD, which my sister is now in control of. It is great that she has some medical knowledge and understands what will be going on.
The conversation I had to have with (sorry short type break here, the tears have just started to flow) … my sister earlier this afternoon was one of the hardest conversations I have ever had to have with anyone. It was so hard holding the tears back. They were ready to flow, and then I just looked at Abigail Rose on video, and she made me smile. It is not a conversation anyone should be having with their sibling. But, I know there is no way my mumma could handle doing this. My sister, no matter how much it hurts her, knows what she has to do in the worst case here.
This is something I would never wish upon my worst enemy. Doesn’t help that I have Taylor Swift- Style blasting through my headset whilst also writing this post.
Everyone is telling me I am strong and that I will be fine. I am very grateful for the kind words of support, but honestly, no one knows that for sure. Anything can go wrong during major surgery where my chest is wide open and surgeons are playing with my heart, so I join the zipper club (people who have had open heart surgery).
I will know more tomorrow and I will update over the next few days as to what is happening. Below is what I know for sure.
- Open heart surgery is the only option I have, and it will be happening
- It will occur anytime within 1 day to 3 months (that is max. for the public health system for someone’s condition as serious as mine) – but most likely within weeks
- If everything goes well, I should be back home within 7 to 14 days after spending some time in the ICU, then the general surgical ward
- If things go wrong could result in death (being blunt) or my sister having to make the hardest choice of her life in a way
More details tomorrow night or the day after – depending on how it goes. So, stay tuned for further updates.
