I Can’t Do This Anymore

Most people think that the last 21 1/2 months hasn’t been much of a struggle for me and that everything has changed within my life now. Your right on that aspect, everything has changed. As for not being much of a struggle you are so wrong. You have absolutely no idea how bad things have been during this time. I know you about a few of my struggles as I have spoken about them, but I haven’t mentioned about everything that has been going on and the struggles I have been facing.

I have been waiting for the breaking point to happen and it happened yesterday. It might not be much of a big deal to you, but you need to look at the overall picture here. Everything else that has been bottled up and that I have been struggling with has just made those 2 things that happened yesterday just made me snap.

So, what happened yesterday. Well, it started with me going to the Doctors to get my monthly government prescription for my medication. And she increased my dose. We have now gone from 180 pills a month up to 210. So another box and a half every month. We were doing so well in coming off them slowly too. Then when I got to the chemist to get my monthly medication the chemist has now put a $21.50 surcharge on the medication every month. Something that I really just can’t afford. So a little bit of panic as to working out what medication I am going to have to stop taking or whether I just give the fuck up and throw away everything I have worked so hard at over the last 22 months. And I made a spur of the moment decision and gave 2 weeks notice to moving out of the unit.

However, Steve obviously didn’t accept that and gave me some time to calm down and let my medication kick in and then we spoke on the phone and he convinced me otherwise. But he also understood where I am coming from. But we are going to work something out so I still take all my medications and I really won’t be out of pocket due to the new surcharge which is going to be an every month thing now. 

It was like yesterday those 2 little things just is like that saying: “The straw that broke the camels back“. And that is exactly how it was for me. But it was totally annoying and to be honest I don’t feel like talking about this anymore this morning, so I am going to end this post here and write more again later.

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