As I sit here and begin typing at just after 9pm on a Friday night, I have to wonder if everything I am doing is even worth it. So many letdowns, so much still not happening. I am totally beginning to lose my passion and thought into pretty much everything I am currently doing. I try to keep my chin held high and then something else happens to bring me back down again.
I have people making promises they don’t keep. I have people I trust lie and let me down constantly. I really just don’t know where I stand anymore. This goes for my online gaming and also my IRL (In Real Life) events going on.
Health
OMG, where do I start? Well my amputation site on the right foot is slowly healing, but it still has an infection inside so I am not completely out of the woods there yet, but now I am having serious issues with my left foot also. Oral drugs are helping but not quick enough and who knows what my vascular team are going to say when I see them soon.
On a brighter note, my BSL has come down dramatically thanks to a new weekly injection. My level very rarely goes into double digits anymore and that is still with having a bit of sugar along the way. Also, my insulin has stopped completely which is great. Fewer needles for me.
Online Gaming
Well this is a big part of my life lately and it has been for several months now and a lot of money invested into it. People that I thought would never let me know with this project have and some in a bad way. But that is making me more determined to carry on even more. Right now, I am trying to get the right team behind me in high-level positions so we can launch.
FiveM is something that I have a real passion for at the moment. And it is something I am trying to make work even with all the ups and downs that are happening with it. The sad part is losing people you thought were friends because they can’t handle not having the power they thought they had and I took the project back to the beginning to where I wanted it in the first place. At the end of the day, it is my server, right?
As my sleeping medication is now kicking in, I am going to jump off here and hopefully do another post over the coming days.
